Mid-IML Blues

Musical Inspiration:


I know my feelings are mostly coming from having not eaten for a whole day on Saturday. I wonder how people fast for religious reasons???? As I understand it serotonin is produced from glucosamine, which is a basic sugar. So now that I am alone for the weekend, and I haven't had much to eat my mood is dropping. This is also compounded with the feeling I'm getting about IML, and the buzz surrounding it all. While all of the gear, toys, and such are exciting, there's such a feeling of emptiness about it all. Looking for connection, because sexuality can be so much more than just sex.

trickse

What Drives You?

Whether it's drugs, friend influence, work or my own compulsion to be right, I am seeing the need to be my own person. Making my own choices. This is a part of growing up.

trickse

"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel"

Incubus ~ Drive

Rich Yummy Underbelly of Society

When you've seen what I've seen, and done what I've done you can say you've tasted the rich yummy underbelly of society. I don't know what is past that, because I haven't been there yet. So explore with me, and we will find the yummiest part.

Spontaneous Thought
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My guy Allen says we live in an ever changing quick answer remebrance of how long ago an event happened. He said, "When was Clinton first in office?", and I said 15 years totally missing the 'first' part. Then he asked, " When was Reagan first in office?", and I said 20 years. He says, but that's when Reagan is leaving office in 1989. Really it was 1981 almost 30 years ago, he says. So he tells me I'm living in 2000. And even totally catches that even he is living an idea of life a few years off on that one. But I ask about history before our time, what idea of time elapse has occureed since man rose up from the earth? And what dates do we pay attention to?

Right now I am somehow I am in living a a memory of 3 years ago in 2006 listening to Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks, and looking at slings and FF's.

Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51V1VMkuyx0

Visuals
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.jimsupport.com/

Entry at 3:12am
~~~~~~~~~~~
Totally got that "No Prize" song from Phil Putnam in my head. "Fantastic on the thighs....Woah, Woah", oh my!

Watch it!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIeGakdYIo

"... I'm no prize!", smile, wink, solo, scan, totally hot, then sad. He's no prize...

Buy it!!! http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=293678692&s=143441

Deepest I've Ever Gone Before

Tonight marks the night I have ever gone this deep before. Reaching a sense of peace just at 2:59 p.m., here in Chicago. I reach an utmost bliss bearing the parts of my layered consciousness. Viewing those parts of who I claim myself to be right now, and shedding a layer, like the naked onion of Buddhic unattachment and loneliness, I'm the one person that knows who I truly am!

For those who are ready I will be going deeper soon... ~T

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, Totally Crazy Dogma Webpage!
~~~follow that drift~~~

My First Reach-Out to the World

Just thought I would share a deeper part of my soul tonight. So I took the inititive to type out an invitation. Here I am a deeper part of me. Something I've never shared to anyone.

Tune in,
and see,
the deeper part,
of me.

~T

Cleaving from Divinity: A Slow Descent from Madness

I just know I should start this diary, so my life will have meant something.